[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

weight of the worldand suddenly--
it was like the world decided that
it didn't want to carry its burden any longer,
so it shifted the weight
into the hollows of my bones
and told me that
it was my problem now.

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

Why don't you kill yourself?“Why don’t you kill yourself?”
Is the voice that often pops in my head
To remind me I’d be better off dead.
As I sit in my two story house
I’m always alone and filled with doubt.
I take medications I don’t know why
These thoughts constantly go through my mind.
I remind myself I have friends who care
And my parents, well, try to be there.
Some would think I’m being over dramatic
Others will think these thoughts could only come from an addict
Or a psycho.
As I weigh the pros and cons
The commercials shut off, the main program goes on
So I turn my mind off and let the show play
And hope that I can be happy one day.

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

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More from ~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1

High SchoolYou Pick On Everyone Smaller Than You
Even Though You Are On The Inside Too

You Think You Are Cute And Funny
You Are Such A Big Dummy!

Just Because Your Tall And Dark
Doesn't Make You Very Smart!

And One Day When You're Picking On Him
I Will Be The One To Commit A Sin

I Will Beat You To The Ground
So Now You'll Know You Shouldn't Be So Proud

You Will Stop Trying To Impress Your "Friends"
And You Will Be Nice To All Of The Rest

So Just Cause Your A Jock
Doesn't Make You Hot

And You Don't Need To Pick On Us
Just To Get Your Stupid Buzz!

PretendingToday Is Like Every Other Day
You Piss Me Off With Every Other Word You Say!

I'm A Teen
I Don't Want To Clean!

And If You Yell At Me Again
That's Where It Will Begin!

I Cant Put Up With It
So I Will Start To Hit!

I Don't Mean To Hurt Them
But You Wont Let Me See My Friends!

You Took Me Out Of Public School
That Just Makes Me Look Like A Fool!

I Can Stand Up And Fight
If I Don't Win I Will Be Alright!

Just Leave Me Alone
And Give Me My Phone!

I Hate You I Hate You!
I Wish I Could Just Kill You!

But Then Again You Are My Family
So I Guess I Can Pretend To Be Happy!

Back In TimeIf I Had The Chance I Would Go Back In Time
Erase Your Minds
But At The Same Time I Would Still Cross The Line

I Would Have Ran When I Was Still At Home
Not All Alone

Not To Far From Home To Never Make It Back
I Would Have Ran The Track
And There Would Have Never Been A Chance To Go Back

InsecurityShe looks in the mirror
She feels so insecure...

She wont ever be as pretty as them...
But she knows that she is the most beautiful she could ever be

Yet she still leaves those cuts on her arm...
And no one can ever know why she self harms

His opinion of our True Lovelove is true love is a lie love is many things idk but one thing i know is that our love is true unbreakable indestructible love is missing u before u leave to go, love is dreaming of you wen i am asleep or day dreaming about you while in class trying to get work done, drawing your name over and over until i know every way to draw it love is doodleing for hours about our future with the person i care and love<3

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My Razor My Love

by ~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1, May 24, 2012, 11:32:02 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

At Night I Sit Alone
Thinking, Crying, Trying To Get Along
I Try To Resist
But I Crave Its Sweet Kiss

Under My Pillow My Sweet Love Calls For Me
Begging Me To Bleed, Bleed, Bleed...

I Finally Give In
My Razor Always Wins
I Press My Love To My Skin
I Scream Aloud You Win, You Win!

As The Sweet Beauty Flows Down My Wrist
My Thoughts Become Lost Within The Deep Twist
With Every Drop Of Blood Gone
I Realize I Was Wrong

Again...
I Shouldn't Have Given In
But My Love Is My Only Friend

So Now I Sit Alone
Hearing My Love's Sweet Tone
Bleed, Bleed, Bleed
I Know I Will Give In Again
Because My Love Is My Only Friend

My Razor My Loveby ~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I self-harm.. I get help but it really isn't helping so I try to write poetry and listen to music to get my mind off of things.. It works.. Sometimes..<'3

~~love 0 0~~

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 3 3

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~Feelin-free May 24, 2012 Writer

Do you .. umm cut your self.. Thats not good o.o

~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1 May 24, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I know :/ But I'm getting "Help" for it... But the "Help" doesnt really help much...

~Feelin-free May 24, 2012 Writer

Help wouldnt help... you need to.. just try and calm your self

~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1 May 24, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I know... I try... I try not to hurt myself because he doesn't want me to.. but my life... No one gets it... They think my life is great but they don't see what goes on behind the closed doors :/

~Feelin-free May 25, 2012 Writer

It seems akward to say, but I do know how you feel, people think Im just a spoilt girl with an attitude but they dont know either.. If you set your mind to it, you can stop it because no shrink or doctor can fix it

~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1 May 25, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thats so right! But its hard for me.. It helps me escape... But my arms is covered in scars ;/

~Feelin-free May 25, 2012 Writer

I know but youll feel better, you wont be like that forever Im postive youll stop some day

~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1 May 25, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thx I think I will too.. Soon probably bcuz I get to see my bf this summer ツ

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My Razor My Love

My Razor My Loveby ~ILoveHimMoreThanAny1

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